...

Anxiety's Heat

Have you ever been so anxious that you can physically feel it? Like a blanket that covers your whole body, your knees, the tops of your feet, your arms, your chest, your face. A tingling, almost warm, like when you step out of freezing cold water into warm air, or you you're healing from a wound, like a burn. It doesn't sting like a burn but it carries all the other sensations

It feels like a blanket in another way, like a downward force, pressing you down into your chair or bed or floor, where curling up feels like the most comfortable thing to do even in the middle of the day, the start of a day

But it fills your breathe also. Like after eating a hot pepper, the throat is tight, the nerves in your nose feel tender and sensitive as air comes in and out. Breathing in deep feels like there's water in your lungs like after a day in the lake or sea, the lungs too are weighed down and resist the rise and pull down on the fall of a breathe. You naturally find yourself making shallow breathes, but also forced breathes, you can hear yourself forcing air in and out of yourself, it draws

attention to itself

The stomach curdles. It too is warm in a comforting, makes-you-want-to-sleep way, but also is uncomfortable. Like when you've been slapped on the stomach a little too hard and the feeling follows you.